CM, Desmet Resume High Level Talks Amid Tensions

CM v. Desmet

Talks resumed Thursday after heightened tensions between the two dorms.

GONZAGA UNIVERSITY, SPOKANE, WA– Catherine Monica (CM) and Desmet leadership resumed talks on Thursday in a bid to ease tensions and heated rhetoric that escalated last week.

The talks take place against a backdrop of mutual mistrust. CM leadership was outraged when they discovered feces in their showers, an act for which Desmet was blamed. Officials from Desmet have since denied any involvement in what has since been dubbed “Dookiegate,” yet CM and its Madonna allies have remained suspicious.

Following the events of Dookiegate, tension escalated on Saturday when CM flexed its muscles with a show of force by writing “Desmet sucks dongs lol #CM” on a Desmet stairwell. Desmet officials have since vowed an “awesome and unforgiving retaliation” on the “CM swine” who attacked their soil.

“Both parties are extremely unstable and unpredictable,” Coughlin resident Shaun Pilkman told reporters. “Coughlin, like always, is taking a neutral stance in this conflict. However, we urge both parties to consider the implications of their actions and to consider ending this once and for all.”

Desmet is apparently asking for 40 30-racks of Busch to compensate for damages caused by CM, a demand that CM officials are calling “ludicrous” and “will not be accepted.”

The Logan will keep you updated as new information is uncovered.

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