Hard Work Pays Off! Dedicated Student Fails Not One, But All His Final Exams

Lazy Student

After a tremendous amount of time and effort spent, sophomore Joel Lawler failed all of his classes

GONZAGA UNIVERSITY, SPOKANE, WA– In a generation that expects handouts and instant gratification, sophomore Joel Lawler is the refreshing exception that stands out. This hard-working business major managed to fail not one, not two, but all SIX of his classes, including two that he needed to get into the business school!


Despite how easy Lawler may have made it seen, he actually put in a tremendous amount of work and discipline in order to pull off such a tremendous achievement.

“It was a long, stressful journey,” Lawler said of his achievement. “There were some days where I thought to myself, ‘maybe I should really go to class and get an education,’ but I thankfully stuck it out and just played more FIFA.”

“It was incredible,” Professor Jocelyn Powell said of her microeconomics student. “There was one point during the test when his eyes lit up and we all got pretty nervous, but he pulled off a 42% in the end. It’s absolutely incredible.”

“At one point during the weekend before the exam I actually saw him take what I thought was Adderall in front of a textbook and my heart dropped,” Lawler’s roommate Daniel Hobbs told reporters. “I thought for a second he was seriously going to buckle down and study. Turns out he just took ecstasy and proceeded to draw penises on every page. What a relief, man. What a relief.”

UPDATE: Sources close to the university claim that the school is going to recognize Lawler’s accomplishments by expelling him at a public ceremony to take place on Herak Lawn. More details will be published when they become available.