Junior Gunner Kelso watched all 236 episodes of Friends over break
THE KELSO HOUSEHOLD, GOLD BAR, WA– Sources reported on Sunday that Gonzaga junior Gunner Kelso told his friends that he did a lot of hiking, fishing, and other outdoor activities over break despite actually binge-watching all ten seasons of the popular sitcom Friends.
“Sorry I didn’t respond to your texts, I went on a ton of hikes over break,” Kelso told his friend group despite actually being too lazy to get his buzzing phone out of his pocket. “Limited service out there, you know? No distractions, just me and nature. It was great.”
Kelso, who watched so much of the cult-classic sitcom that he started to use phrases said by characters in his everyday life, went on to describe the way in which the outdoors gave him enough time to sit and reflect.
“There’s just a very surreal kind of peace out there,” Said the kid who at some points would talk to the characters on his laptop. “I feel bad for you guys, really.”
“I feel great,” Continued the junior who ate three entire boxes of pizza rolls in two hours. “It just sucks I can’t keep this up at school.”
Kelso concluded the conversation with his friends by telling them that he’s “probably gonna do a bunch of camping and traveling” over summer vacation, although sources close to Kelso say that he has his eye set on How I Met Your Mother, 30 Rock, and a fifth viewing of Sherlock.