Three Arrested After Police Break Up Massive Jesuit House Party

Jesuit House Sign

The Jesuit House threw a massive midweek rager on Tuesday night

JESUIT HOUSE, GONZAGA UNIVERSITY, SPOKANE, WA– Three were arrested when police broke up a massive party at Gonzaga’s Jesuit House on Tuesday night.

The house party, which law enforcement called “one of the craziest, most out of control gatherings” they had ever seen, took 14 officers over an hour to completely break up.

“They were out of control,” Officer Brendan Hornley said of the incident. “By the time we were called to the site, there was already over $1,000 worth of damages to the house and surrounding areas.”

Spokane Police was called to the scene after some Jesuits were reported for yelling some very crass, dark things at passing groups of students. The three individuals that were detained allegedly tried to assault several officers with what appeared to be holy water and crucifixes.

“Clearly intoxicated party attendees would approach officers and get their hands close to our officers before pulling them away quickly and yelling, ‘Leviticus 11:7-8 – And the pig, though it has a divided hoof, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you. You must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses; they are unclean for you’ and then run off laughing.”

“I don’t know how it got so big,” Father Jacob Carlyle told reporters. “It was originally just going to be members of the house relaxing, sipping on some blood of Christ. You know, a Tuesday gathering. But soon, members of the Cathedral of Our Lady of Lourdes stopped by, and we all now what happens when they arrive at parties.”

Besides the three individuals arrested for assaulting officers, the members of the party got off with a stern warning.

“This isn’t the first time these guys have gotten out of hand,” Officer Thomas Brent said. “And we’ve given them a warning every time. But this is the last time. Hopefully seeing some of their buddies getting put in the back of our cars will calm them down a bit.”

When asked for comment, the Jesuits said they’re “gonna find the narc who snitched” and that the Spokane Police Department “totally ruined [their] vibe, but [they’ll] be back bigger than ever.”