Hero Engineering Student Still Has Ash On Forehead

Ash Wed 2.0

Stan Pitts, religious devotee (unconfirmed), has had ash on his forehead since Ash Wednesday

GONZAGA UNIVERSITY, SPOKANE, WA– Reports came in on Saturday that Gonzaga junior Stan Pitts still has ash on his forehead from Wednesday’s “Ash Wednesday” celebration, an act of religious devotion that has his classmates in awe.

On Wednesday, like most Catholics at Gonzaga, Pitts attended the Ash Wednesday mass offered by the university. Unlike most students, however, the engineering major from San Diego, CA, has kept the ash on his forehead since then.

“At first we thought he was just put new ash on his forehead the following morning” Sophomore Melissa Croster said of Pitts. “But when he came to class yesterday [Friday], the ash was smudged exactly like it had been on Thursday. He’s so strong.”

“At first glance, you wouldn’t take him as a religious dude,” Daniel Thurman said of his classmate. “He’s a little awkward, actually. I’m pretty sure he has like six fedoras. But the fact that he still has ash on his forehead means he went part of Wednesday, all of Thursday, all of Friday, and now part of Saturday without showering or even washing his face. He’s just so  dedicated. He’s what Jesus would have wanted.”

Not only did the modern prophet Pitts have ash on his forehead since Ash Wednesday, he has also worn the same clothes since last Easter.

“He’s just so strong,” Junior Craig Bellevue remarked, his eyes tearing up in reverence. “And he’s elusive, too. I’ve rarely seen him outside of class or his dorm.”

“I also heard that it’s been 40 days since he’s done laundry or cleaned his room,” Bellevue continued. “40 days! Just like Jesus in the desert, right? Wow.”

When questioned, Pitts says that he “didn’t even realize” that the ash was on his forehead before wiping it off, leaving a trail of Cheetos dust in its place.

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