Pictured: A grainy photo of what appears to be a Gonzaga women’s basketball team
GONZAGA UNIVERSITY, SPOKANE, WA– Researchers at Gonzaga University told media on Monday that the university might be home to more than one sports team.
While the study is still currently in progress, the researchers claim that there could be up to 16 sports on campus. While this idea may sound like a fantasy, lead researcher Dr. Kyle Stamper says that they have found “sufficient evidence” that may prove otherwise.
“Our team has discovered multiple areas throughout the campus that appear as if they serve as sporting facilities,” Dr. Stamper told reporters. “We’ve discovered what appears to be a baseball diamond, a soccer field, and even a golf practice facility. Additionally, we’ve uncovered equipment for tennis, rowing, and volleyball teams. Now there’s the possibility that the equipment was left here by students, but when combined with the training facilities it becomes harder to dismiss.”
While the vast majority of people have maintained the popular belief that Gonzaga is home only to a men’s basketball team, Dr. Stamper has always felt like there were some discrepancies that he couldn’t quite understand.
“I kept seeing things like a bunch of people on a field with jerseys that said ‘Gonzaga Soccer’ and I felt like I was missing something,” Stamper said. “I’d see shirts at the Zag store that said things like ‘Women’s Basketball’ or ‘Men’s Rowing,’ but I didn’t know what it meant. Now it’s starting to make sense.”
Despite the new information presented by Dr. Stamper, most students still are hesitant to believe that there are more than one sports offered at Gonzaga.
“It’s a fairy tale, and that’s it,” Sophomore David Henry told reporters. “It’s nice to think about, but don’t you think we would have heard about the other sports by now?”
While Stamper offers evidence, Henry makes a valid argument: don’t you think we would have heard about the other sports by now?