Excited Freshman Starts “On Your Feet” Chant at Mass

St. Al’s Church (left) disturbed by freshman Jamie Perry (right)

ST. ALOYSIS CHURCH, SPOKANE, WA – Tragedy ended what was before a peaceful Sunday mass at St. Al’s Church this past week. As the mass was coming to a close, excited freshman and self-proclaimed Gonzaga basketball fanatic Jamie Perry elevated himself on the pews and started manically screaming “ON YOUR FEET!”, gesturing to his fellow churchgoers to ignore the sermon and stand and cheer for no reason.

“I just…I don’t know what happened,” said Perry. “All of the sudden it was like instinct had taken over. I was an animal.”

This is the third time this week that Mr. Perry has caused a basketball-related disturbance. On January 21, after receiving his first quiz grade, Perry launched himself onto his desk and chanted “Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!”, waving his arm like a tomahawk at his Intro to Speech professor, Ella Linden. On January 23, as his English professor took role, Perry ran to the wall and shut off the lights. He then opened a strobe light app on his phone and tried to scream the last name of each student on the roster in sync with his professor David Marbury. Of course, this was only the second week of class so he chose to believe every last name was either Pangos, Bell Jr., Wesley, Wiltjer or Karnowski.

“We’ve been friends since the 6th grade,” said Perry’s classmate Jessie Warren. “He knows my last name is Warren, but he stared me dead in the eyes and yelled ‘Bell Jr.’ after the professor said my first name. Honestly, it was a bit frightening.”

We tried to contact a representative from the church about the incident, but we were told there was no comment.