School Officials Admit Mark Few Only Got Job Because They “Thought He Was Kevin Bacon”

Kevin Bacon Mark Few

Left: American actor Kevin Bacon Right: Gonzaga basketball coach Mark Few

MCCARTHY ATHLETIC CENTER, SPOKANE, WA– Sources close to the Gonzaga men’s basketball team told reporters Friday that current head coach Mark Few was only hired because former athletic director, Damien Stafford, thought that he was famous actor Kevin Bacon.

“I was sitting in my office and thinking to myself, ‘Why the hell is Footloose star Kevin Bacon walking through my door?’” Stafford said of the first time the two met. “I was absolutely star struck. I hired him in the first five minutes of his interview.”

It wasn’t until midway through Few’s first season as assistant coach that Stafford began to realize that he hadn’t hired Apollo 13 and A Few Good Man star Kevin Bacon, but rather University of Oregon graduate Mark Few.

“Looking back, I’m glad I hired him,” Stafford said of the coach currently leading the league with the highest winning percentage. “Ultimately, I’m glad I did. He’s been nothing but phenomenal with this team. But I’d still pick Kevin Bacon over the guy any day.”

When asked if Stafford’s comments upset him at all, Mark Few told reporters, “Nah, I get that a lot.”